I miss him.
I miss him everyday and every night. I still cry myself to sleep. Days seem lonely. Even when I am with others, I still feel lonely. Because no one knows how I feel. And I hesitate to share.
I have always been good at covering up my real feelings. Some of it is because I am an introvert and keep a lot to myself. Some of it is because I was sexually abused by my father as a child and I got good at pretending everything was okay.
I have always been a survivor. And I will survive this too.
I do not want to worry my children so I keep it all to myself. Except for blogging of course. That is why I started blogging again. So I am able to write what I need to write about. I am able to share what I am feeling and thinking. Get it off my chest, so to speak.
It helps. Writing has always helped me.
What also helps is I am a Christian. I know where my husband is. He is safe and blissfully happy, looking upon the face of God.
Save a place for me, hon.
Catholic Prayer Life 
My dear Friend although I have not experienced the sorry you have, I know that the Lord will only send you what you can handle. He is with you always and will keep you in His loving care. Peace Barbara C.
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Thanks Barbara
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Thank you Barbara. God bless you.
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My friend, I agree grief is the hardest emotion to endure. I also agree knowing that he is living in joy helps me too. I try to live in joy as our Savior would wants, but sometimes the aloneness is very trying. Remember you are in my prayers.
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Thank you Donna.
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Coleen,
You are never alone and many of us are praying. This is all brand new and you do not erase many blissful years overnight. You have every right to weep and feel abandoned! Hopefully, time and faith will heel the wounds, though the loss is always felt!!
Love & Blessings,
Pat
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Thank you Pat. Thank you for your prayers and your words of comfort.
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Colleen, losing a husband is one of the hardest experiences you’ll ever have to go through. I lost Ben almost 19 years ago and I still miss him. It’s not the same as when he passed early on though. I can laugh and remember the good times we had now. Your children know how you feel, probably better than you know. I thought I was pretty good at protecting them but to this day, they have told me how I reacted that I never even realized. You know what? That’s ok. I wrote to Ben every night for two years afterwards. When I went back and read them, I saw myself grow through the grieving process. Colleen, be good to yourself. Grief is not a quick process or even a consistent process. Baby steps… 🙏❤️
Love, Linda Hall
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Linda, thank you so much. Your words really make me feel better. I know I feel a little better- sometimes. But then I slide back into that lonely place. Writing to Ben helped you? I may need to try that. Just writing this blog article helped. I have to write more for sure. Baby steps eh? I think I can do that. Thank you so much. God bless.
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Not a day goes by that Frank isn’t with me, maybe I can’t see him but I can feel him, I know he was with my Daughter and I as we huddled in fear during the Hurricane. He hears my frustrations, shares my joys. He is not gone from me and somehow let’s me know I can do this.
God has given me these days, I am well, and live in comfort, I am blessed. I know Frank is at peace with God and his family, and someday I will join him.
Rich is with you, you will feel him with you, you will, I know.
God Blessings on you and your Family,
Carole
I
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Thank you Carole. Your note is comforting. It really is. God bless you.
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From one Colleen to another: I am praying for you. God will take care of you. You know that, and now Rich is looking down on you and praying for you, too! Lots of love! ❤️
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Thank you, Colleen. I do know that but in dark times I need the reminder. Love to you too.
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